Valkyrie Crusade: DANCE
by Essay King of VC
Summary: A spin-off of the transcript short story collection 'Valkyrie Crusade: Mishaps in the Celestial Realm', following an all-new Lord as he lives his daily life with his Valkyries, who are far too out-of-this-world to be talked straight to.
1. Give me an Intro!

**Hey guys, what's up and welcome to a new fanfic I'm making, called Valkyrie Crusa- Oh, you read the name? Umm... Okay, then... First of all, I just posted my rant on VC and why I'm quitting it just now, actually, in my main fanfic, and I'm trying my best to think of new ideas for that one. For now, I have new ideas for this old character I once had. I call him Jordan (Yay :D) and he's a nice guy. Actually, no. He's got himself a powerful staff that increases his fighting capabilities so that he can fight with his Valkyries. He's also mainly emotionless, using emotions when needed. **

**Okay, I know, OCs mainly ruin stories, I get it, but I really need an OC here, or else the whole thing would feel boring and stuff with only girls in the picture. So hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Hi.<p>

Hello~.

?: Welcome.

?: To the VC SPIN-OFF!

Jordan: Call me Jordan.

Fortuna: I'm Fortuna!

Jordan: And this is Valkyrie Crusade-

Fortuna: Dance~!

Jordan: There is no dancing whatsoever, though…

Fortuna: Hmm, Monochrome might like dancing, though…

Jordan: Nah, she's to monotone for that.

Fortuna: Well, hope you enjoy~!

Jordan: The next chapter might fancy your eyes.

Fortuna: Might it?

Jordan: Will, won't, might.

Fortuna: So which one is it?

Jordan: The third.

Fortuna: Won't?

Jordan: No, the third one.

Fortuna: Will?

Jordan: Please, stop.

Fortuna: *Shocked* Ah, sorry...


	2. Udon and Ramen

Fortuna: Master, I brought you your favourite food~! It's ramen!

(Jordan is sitting on the dining table, reading a newspaper. His staff is lying on the table)

Jordan: Ramen? I thought it was Udon.

Fortuna: Ah, really, I-I'm so sorry! I'll go make another, then!

Jordan: Wait-

(She returns to the kitchen)

Jordan: *Thinking* Um, I can eat ramen too, you know… But at least she's trying… Maybe I'll give her a chance or something…

(Suddenly puts on his gravest face. Background darkens)

Jordan: *Thinking* No, no more chances. Please, just vary my diet; it's always Udon with the same veges and meats in it…

* * *

><p>(It is a new day. Jordan has snuck into the kitchen to cook)<p>

Jordan: Hmm, with my apron on and all utensils here, all I need is ingredients.

(Turns around, walks to fridge, and opens it)

Jordan: Okay, I need something other than Udon noodles. Maybe the ramen from that day?

(The fridge is laden with udon ingredients. There is no other ingredients other than the usual inside)

Jordan: *-_-**Wind blows hair* Where did the ramen noodles go? How did she even get them, anyway?

* * *

><p>Fortuna: *Peeking through kitchen hallway* I heard from Familiar Spirits that Master snuck into the kitchen without my permission. Wonder what he's doing? Maybe he's… No…<p>

(She stops, and shudders)

Fortuna:*Thinking* He might have drank all my carrot juice…!

(She calms down after a while)

Fortuna: *Thinking* Nah, that's not possible. He never drinks juice… That's why I never gave him any~.

(She then walks to the door, and opens it)

Fortuna: Master Jordan, what might you be doi-!

(Jordan is drinking her carrot juice. She only keeps silent in reply)

* * *

><p>Fortuna: What're you cooking, anyway~?<p>

(She starts peeking around Jordan as he cooks)

Jordan: Didn't you make this the other day?

Fortuna: Oh, Udon? I knew you like Udon! Isn't it your favourite~?

Jordan: *Grave face* *Background darkens* No, it's ramen. *Thinking* As in what I'm cooking.

Fortuna: *Awe-struck* *Background darkens* Ah, really…?

* * *

><p>Jordan: I found it in the cabinet, by the way. The ramen.<p>

* * *

><p>Fortuna: So your favourite dish is actually ramen?<p>

Jordan: Not really, it's still Udon…

Fortuna: *Unintentionally Ignores him* But to think that milord Jordan is making a dish of his own, I just want to eat it~!

Jordan: Can I just eat my ramen… In peace?

Fortuna: Pieces?

(Jordan facepalms)

* * *

><p>Jordan: Well, *Unravels ramen* It's done.<p>

Fortuna: Oh, look at all the different things you put inside it. You know what, milord, I'll start cooking different things this time! Because you've cooked this up, I'm inspired to cook a variety of foods for you now~!

Jordan: *Thinking* Ah, at least she's doing something of my favor.

(Later, the next day. In the large Kingdom dining room…)

Fortuna: Here's the menu, Master Jordan.

(Inside is only two things: Ramen, and Udon)


	3. Black and White

Jordan: Don't touch my staff, please?

(Jordan is walking down the hallway, when Monochrome appears and tries to touch his staff (Literal meaning))

Monochrome: I just want it black. And white. This earthen brown makes me cringe.

Jordan: *Serious face* And your pale skin paralyzes me… *Thinking* I think that was called sarcasm.

(A paintbrush with black paint is thrown to his face. He flinches in reply)

* * *

><p>Jordan: *With paint on face* Hey, Fortuna.<p>

Fortuna: Master, what happened!?

(Monochrome steps out from behind Jordan)

Monochrome: I did it.

Fortuna: Hmph, why did you do that?

Monochrome: *Background darkens* It was an accident…

(Arrow points to her: **Is being sarcastic**)

Jordan: *Background darkens* Oh, yes it was…

(**Is being sarcastic**)

Fortuna: *Thinking* HOW CAN THESE TWO HAVE THE SAME LEVEL OF SARCASM!? ARE THEY TELLING THE TRUTH, OR ARE THEY LYING!?

* * *

><p>Fortuna: Now, Monochrome, you have to clean all of the paint off, okay? You're lucky it's soluble in water.<p>

(Jordan faces Monochrome)

Jordan: Okay, as of what she said: clean it off.

Monochrome: As you command… *Notices her buckets of paint*

(Monochrome dips a towel into the white paint- being noticed by Fortuna- before swiping it on Jordan's face)

Fortuna: MONOCHROME!

* * *

><p>Jordan: *Closed eyes* Well, now I'm a zebra…<p>

Fortuna: *Thinking* Is this something to joke about?

Monochrome: I don't know… you seem perfect for me…

Jordan: *Shocked* Eh, perfect?

Fortuna: *Thinking* T-that sounds so shameless! D-does Monochrome like Master Jordan!?

Jordan: *Sudden confidence* Well, yes, I do feel like a Magnum Opus after you painted on my face.

Monochrome: Yes, that was what I meant, my piece of art.

(Fortuna crumbles in dumbfounded shock)

* * *

><p>(After a while)<p>

Jordan: Well, at least my face is clean again. And so is my glasses.

Monochrome: Sorry for all the bright commotion.

Jordan: Don't worry, it's your own desires, anyway. I can't stop personal behaviors.

Monochrome: That is true…

Fortuna: *Thinking* Hmm, why do they look so good together…?

(**Jordan: ****Has little emotions present**)

(**Monochrome: ****Has little emotions at all**)

Fortuna: *Face of shock* *D:*


	4. Maps and Cats

Fortuna: What're you doing?

(Jordan is in his studies, drawing maps. Fortuna stumbles upon him making a map about the newest event area)

Jordan: I'm drawing maps, Fortuna. The Valkyrie Council commissioned me to, remember? I've already finished exploring the place; now all that's left is to do the inking.

Fortuna: *Thinking* Wow, Master is doing so much work! I should applaud his efforts!

(She reaches a hand out, but then stops when Jordan reaches for a microphone (You know, to talk to everyone in the Kingdom))

Jordan: Hello, I forgot my ink back at the store. Can you please pass to me?

Fortuna: *Thinking* HOW CAN HE REMEMBER THE LAYOUT OF THE LAND WHEN HE CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER TO BRING BACK THE INK!?

* * *

><p>Fortuna: What's this?<p>

Jordan: *Boring voice* Oh, that's the place White Tiger lives. It's also where I played with her.

Fortuna: Then what's this little annotations?

Jordan: *Nonchalant voice* That's where I helped Shawn survive Vermillion Bird's efforts of killing all of us. *Dead Voice* And that's where I had a picnic with Black Turtle; it was really serene. And this was where-

Fortuna: *Thinking* M-Master's voice is so boring! How is he going to address the Kingdom with that?! *Stops thinking* M-Master, can you smile and lift up your voice a bit?

Jordan: Uh, okay, if you insist. *Points at one part of the map* *:D* And this is where I dumped all the Valkyrie Cards I killed without mercy! It was very fun stabbing them with my staff's sharp end~!

Fortuna: *Thinking* You don't have to be happy **THERE**!

* * *

><p>Jordan: Hmm, maps always tell of the geographical features, but my map seems a bit too dull.<p>

Fortuna: You sure. I thought maps need to be informative, not pretty~.

Jordan: Like you?

Fortuna: *:O* H-huh!? *Thinking* W-what does that mean!? Could he-

Jordan: You know what, you're so pretty, I'm gonna draw a likeness of you in a place that suites you.

Fortuna: *Thinking* W-what!? He's gonna put me on the map and get it published!?

Jordan: Done.

(It's a chibi bunny on top of Huang Long's location)

Jordan: It is a symbolism of your overall power when it comes to what I eat every breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Fortuna: *Thinking* THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! AND WHY AM I JUST A SIMPLE BUNNY!?

* * *

><p>(The door behind them opens, and Familiar Spirit comes in with the ink)<p>

FS: Nyan~ Here.

Jordan: Ah, there it is: my ink. Thanks, Familiars.

FS: *Tsundere blush* Nyan…

Fortuna: To think of it, I've heard of reports stating that there's a new virus that's transferred by cats.

Jordan: Cats? Ah, don't worry, we don't have any cats here. We're perfectly safe.

(The two go silent, before turning towards Familiar Spirits with fearful eyes)

FS: NYAN!?

* * *

><p>Fortuna: Have you ever accidentally damage your maps before?<p>

Jordan: There was a time where I spilled my ink on the paper, but I have promised myself to never let that happen again.

(The door then opens, and Monochrome comes in)

Monochrome: Hmm, you're painting again?

(Jordan suddenly rushes from his chair and blocks the door with his body, shutting Monochrome outside)

Fortuna: W-what're you doing, Master?! It's just Monochrome.

Jordan: You don't understand…! JUST DON'T LET HER GET TO MY FIVE DAYS OF WORK!

Both FS and Fortuna: *Thinking* Don't tell me, Monochrome DID IT!


	5. Unarmed and Armed

(Jordan is meditating on a flat battle arena on top of a mountain, alone)

Jordan: … … *Notices something* Hmm?

(Suddenly, a person appears)

White Tiger: I am White Tiger! And I'll be your opponent today! Don't you dare look down on me, I'm really strong! If it pleases you, you shall have the opportunity to use any weapon you currently have, but don't expect me to lose to you even though you have a gun, because I'm a master in hand-to-hand combat, and I'll-

(She continues boasting)

Jordan: *Thinking* T-this person… is really obnoxious…

* * *

><p>WT: *In battle post* Hey, get up! Stop trying to enlighten yourself, and let me enlighten you with my fist!<p>

Jordan: Uh, do I really have to? *Takes stick beside him* *Uses staff as support*

(In the process of standing up, his staff cracks the ground)

Jordan: *T_T* Okay, *Holds up staff* Let us fight.

WT: U-uh, I retract my rules…! And can you pay for that later…

* * *

><p>WT: Okay, now that you don't have any weapons, I shall do the honors!<p>

Jordan: Honors of what, exactly?

WT: HONORS OF ATTACKING YOU! *Jump kicks* HYAH!

(She hits him square on the face)

WT: *Thinking* SO WEAK!

* * *

><p>Jordan: *On the ground* Urgh, you beat me… Now what?<p>

WT: H-how are you so weak!? Y-you made that crack, but you took that attack like a weakling!

Jordan: *Staggers up* O-okay then… Takes this. *Punches her lightly in the stomach*

WT: *-_-* … Why are you so weak…?

Jordan: Shaddup, okay? Not everyone has the time to lift…

* * *

><p>WT: *Examining staff on hand* I can't believe it, you only gain powers through this staff thing! And I thought I was fighting a really strong guy for once!<p>

Jordan: Well, my dad gave it to me before I went to the Celestial Realm. I don't know how it does it, but it happened when I came here.

WT: You know what, seeing how you're so powerful with this, take IT BACK THEN!

(She swings the staff down on to Jordan's head, but it only makes a 'KONK!' noise)

WT: …

Jordan: …

(Jordan suddenly faints with foam from his mouth)

WT: HE COLLAPSED FROM SHOCK!? He really thought he was gonna die!

* * *

><p>(Jordan has awoken, and he is now holding his staff and massaging his head)<p>

Jordan: Seems it only works for me…

WT: What're you doing up here, anyway? Where're your Valkyries.

Jordan: I deemed them too weak to battle, so I came alone with this staff.

WT: WHAT? YOU REALLY DON'T TRUST YOUR VALKYRIES AT ALL!? DO YOU INSTEAD MAKE THEM DO HARD LABOUR OR SOMETHING TO STRENGTHEN THEM!? YOU TYRANT!

Jordan: No, it's something worse.

WT: WORSE!? WHAT'D YOU MEAN!? DO YOU PERHAPS LET A TORTURER DO HIS THING TO THEM!?

Jordan: I let them party.

WT: *Thinking* HOW IS THAT WORSE!?

* * *

><p>WT: Okay, get up!<p>

Jordan: Hmm?

WT: Come on, it's time to fight!

Jordan: But you've already beaten me, right? *Takes container out of pocket* Let me drink first, please? *Drinks*

WT: WRONG! IT'S TIME THAT WE FIGHT FAIR AND SQUARE! COME ON, POUND ME! POUND ME REAL HARD ON MY BODY!

(Jordan spits all of the water out once he hears what she says)

* * *

><p>?: Haha, I commend you for your victory against White Tiger…<p>

Jordan:*Wiping mouth* B-but we haven't even fought yet…

WT: Ah, the atmosphere's changing! She really is here!

(Huang Long appears)

HL: Now, let us fight, mortal human!

WT: BUT I'M STILL HERE!

HL: Oh, really? I apologize for my mistake. You have been here for so long, I believed you have lost, so I came as the Fantasy Archwitch's privilege to fight him.

WT: Well, he did lose, but we're having a rematch.

Jordan: Yeah, wanna join? I'll battle you once I battle her.

(Later, back at Jordan's Kingdom)

Jordan: *To Fortuna* And that's how I have these two behind me.

(White Tiger and Huang Long are behind him, with bruises on their faces)

Fortuna: W-WHY DID YOU BEAT THEM SO BADLY!? THEY'RE ONLY WOMEN!?

Jordan: Then explain to me why women fight for Lords?


	6. Hellos and Goodbye Gifts

Jordan: So, I'm a 'Lord' now?

(Jordan is in the Grand Lord Summoning Building, where he is adjusting his new cape and clothes. He is walking down a hallway with Fortuna)

Fortuna: Yup~! Although, due to a large surplus of Lords these days, I have to give up my Valkyrie status to be an advisor. You don't seem very surprised about all this~

Jordan: Yeah, something like this's happened once before, actually.

Fortuna: Oh, when was that?

Jordan: *Background darkens* It's something called school… Why did I have to go…

Fortuna: Oh, s-sorry for making you relieve bad memories…

* * *

><p>Fortuna: Hmm, *Notices Jordan's staff* What's that on your lap?<p>

Jordan: Oh, this? *Takes staff up* My dad gave it to me. It's been with me ever since.

Fortuna: Why? It looks like a silly stick. I hear the other advisors snickering at it~

Jordan: Oh, it gives me superhuman strength. Isn't it cool?

Fortuna: *:D* … …

(…)

(…)

Fortuna: *Thinking* What the JACK?

* * *

><p>Fortuna: U-um, I don't understand what you mean…<p>

Jordan: Well, every time I have it on hand, it gives me strength. I can literally break walls and stuff.

Fortuna: B-but does that mean you might accidentally break people's walls?

Jordan: Well, yeah, I have swung it at the wrong direction once… It was like this: *Swings outwards* *Breaks wall*

Both: *OnO*… …

(Jordan turns around, almost unaware of the mistake and with an expression of distrust)

Fortuna: DON'T LOOK AS IF I DID IT!

* * *

><p>Fortuna: *Panicking* WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO!? WE'RE GONNA GET BUSTED IF THE HIGHER UPS FIND OUT THAT WE BROKE THE GRAND LORD SUMMONING BUILDING!<p>

Jordan: Calm down, and let me think of a solution.

(After some time)

Jordan: Ah, I know, I'll tell them I was remodeling the place!

Fortuna: BUT YOU **'BROKE'** THE WALL! BREAKING AND REMODELING ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!

Jordan: Hey, if they believe me, two things will happen: I won't get busted, and this thing will stay. But wait, there's a third, bonus event also.

Fortuna: H-huh, w-what does that mean?

Jordan: *Eyes shine* I'll get paid.

Fortuna: Do I have to bunny kick you to make you understand.

* * *

><p>(The two are now walking down the hallway, passing by many new Lords)<p>

Jordan: Well, we resolved everything, at least. Oh, can you follow me to the dressing room?

Fortuna: Ah, sure~!

(Later)

Fortuna: Eh, why are we walking into the girl's dressing room?

(Inside)

Fortuna: W-wait, what are you doing? Don't take the dresses out! And please don't take the bikinis-

Jordan: *Puts bra on hanger to her chest* Wow, you're really big.

* * *

><p>Jordan: Okay, *Marvelling Fortuna's new clothes* these clothes here shall replace your Pool Bunny outfit, okay?<p>

Fortuna: N-NO! This outfit is my trademark, okay!?

Jordan: Not anymore, it ain't.

Fortuna: W-why are you so mean…

Jordan: I'm not mean, I just* Turns around* *Dark atmosphere* think you're too disgusting…

Fortuna: *Thinking* WHAT KIND OF GOOD PERSON USES THAT WORD!?

* * *

><p>(Later, Jordan arrives in his Kingdom with Fortuna. They are now in the Kingdom hall)<p>

Fortuna: *Skipping* This is your new home! It's really big, wow~!

Jordan: Tchuh, you didn't even agree to the new clothes I gave you. Why should I even be happy? Although, to congratulate you in being so happy for so long, have a gift.

(He hands her a box)

Fortuna: Oh, t-thank you!

(Later, she is in her room)

Fortuna: I wonder what he gave me; it must be really cool. Although, how did he get it in the first place? Nah, who cares, let's open it!

(She holds up a bra to her face when she takes her first thing out. It's the clothes Jordan tried to give her)


End file.
